Even if I manage to not commit suicide by oncoming train, I'll probably die sooner than later anyway because I subconsciously don't properly take care of myself.
I guess it's more complicated than that. I am paralyzed. Executive function...or something.
I don't do a bunch of things I know I should do and take no time at all, but I would almost always rather be doing something, anything else.
In the last few months, I've managed to drop two stone. I wasn't trying to lose that much just enough so I didn't feel yucky or lethargic, but I freaked myself out and now I hardly eat. It's not good. I'm getting too thin.
So, even if I don't let a train get me, I'll get me anyway.
